Seek 1st to Understand – Then to be Understood

Chatting over coffee with a networking contact recently, and discussing sales pitches – and the fact that he was not going to buy something – it occurred to me that one of the reasons he was not going to buy on this occasion was that the offer did not suit his needs. It is a mistake we have all made, we are so fired up about our product or service that we sell, sell, sell. What we should be doing is a bit more listening.

One of our challenges in getting a sales message across is that we often pitch too early, or we use the same pitch every time without considering the person we are speaking to.

This causes us problems because most people apply their own experiences and pre-existing understanding (paradigms) as filters to mould our carefully crafted pitch to their world.

Pitch + Listener Paradigms = Unique understanding

This can create a unique understanding of our pitch – and it might be one that stops them buying.

If we start by listening before pitching, and checking for their personal understanding as we go, we can improve the degree to which prospects understand our offer.

In general terms, we could all improve our sales prospects if we worked on our listening skills.

Listen
- With intent to understand, rather than
- With intent to reply.
Most people are either speaking, or preparing to speak, filtering everything through their own paradigms.
We tend to listen autobiographically
We evaluate; we probe; we advise; or we interpret.
We try to figure people out, to explain their motives, their behaviour, based on our own motives and behaviour.
Diagnose – before you prescribe

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I’m not sure that what you heard is what I meant”

8 Habits of Good Listeners

Positive body language
Appropriate non-words
Empathise
Ask relevant questions
Listen without interruption
Clarify to check understanding
Summarise and paraphrase
Stand in their shoes (metaphorically)

Take a tip from nature:
Your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is.

Further reading:

Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This was a guest post by Paul Fileman of Results-Zone. Results-Zone bring extensive knowledge and experience gained in Blue Chip organisations to businesses like yours. They ensure that your business is fully exploiting a well thought through operating plan. They work alongside you and your team – as business results managers. They ensure that your team and your business are elevated to the results-zone. They bring you “hands-on” experience – similar to employing high quality management skills without the risk or costs in recruiting full time employees.

Related posts at Business Opportunities And Ideas:

Seek 1st to Understand – Then to be Understood

Job Listings